Sardonic
by silver-fox-of-midnight
Summary: Sendoh and Rukawa are complete opposites. What would you do if you knew someone loved you, but you can't seem to admit it to yourself?
1. Thoughts of Denial

Hey guys..haven't posted a fic in a while... And just got some weird pang of inspiration today... someone asked me, "What's sardonic?" And something in my head just clicked! (People in ML: FINALLY...)

So here it is! I dedicate this fic to...uh...to...uh...OF COURSE, HANA!! (huggles Hana) Darn, I don't know what I'd do without you gurl! Thanks lots... and to Cheeky, (welcome back!) and to the rest of you guys.. I know it's only a prologue, and I've made such a fuss...but I'm pretty darn pleased with myself..so leave me be okay? (Hana: snorts)

Aight...that's all... here you go..will write the next chappie ASAP...

Full of inspiration,

Silver Fox.

* * *

Sardonic

Rating: PG-13

_Disclaimers: I don't own anything in this fic. Not Rukawa, not Sendoh (sob) but at least I own the fic._

* * *

Prologue : Thoughts of Denial 

Rukawa Kaede sat silently, looking out the window, as hills and greenery zoomed past him.

"Do'aho." He muttered out loud, as he could hear the shouts of Sakuragi Hanamichi, his teammate, from the other cabin.

Rukawa stared out the train, the scenery all in a blur. The rest of his teammates were sleeping around him. Rukawa sighed. He leaned into his seat and closed his eyes.

He wondered why he couldn't sleep. Usually he was the first to fall asleep. Maybe it was because he was playing a match against Ryonan later. Shohoku VS Ryonan. It was the game everyone was so excited about. Well, honestly, Rukawa wasn't excited about anything. It was just that…

Sendoh Akira.

God, the name drove Rukawa so insane sometimes. He never really understood why. He never knew why every time he was alone he would think of Sendoh, or when he watched Sendoh playing basketball, it created such passion, such desire in him. Sometimes he wanted to pull Sendoh's sweaty body close to his, and caress him.

But it was only a feeling. It was not something Rukawa Kaede would do. Never.

Rukawa opened his eyes. He watched the scenery slow to a stop.

They were here. It was time for the match.

"Rukawa! Let's go!" One of his teammates yelled over to him.

Rukawa took a deep breath. Then he got up, hauled his bag over his shoulder, and followed.

* * *

Sendoh Akira flashed a smile at his best friend, Koshino, as they both walked down the empty hall.

"Excited, Akira?" Koshino asked with a laugh.

"Ecstatic, more like it." Sendoh laughed back. Then he let his smile fade.

Ecstatic? It wasn't exactly a lie, but Sendoh was not looking forward to the fact that one very good-looking kitsune was going to be at the match.

"Rukawa…"

"Did you say something, Akira?"

Sendoh shook his head, smiling. "Nothing, Kosh…"

Then he turned back to his thoughts. Sendoh was very distressed about the fact that he was completely crazy over Rukawa. Of all people! Why couldn't he have fallen for one of those pretty fans he has? It just had to be the Ice Prince. But he was never going to admit it. Not to anyone, not even to himself.

They entered their locker room, where the rest of their team was assembling. Sendoh sat down and retied his shoelace. As people greeted him, Sendoh wondered whether Rukawa would be wearing his black Nikes or the white ones…

Their coach called them around him, and gave his pep talk. Sendoh couldn't bother to listen, but he acted interested anyway. Then they walked into the basketball court.

Cheering. So loud, it almost hurt Sendoh's ears. There were lots of people, shouting and jumping, holding banners.

Sendoh let his eyes scan the court. Then he saw the Shohoku team on the other side. His eyes met, with someone's across the room.

Sendoh froze. "Rukawa."


	2. Encounters

Hey guys...back with another chapter...sorry it might've taken some time, but I've got it all sorted out..hehe...

Hana - I know...they're both very OOC...but I think I like it that way...if everyone was predictable, what would life be?

Archangel Barton - Thanks! Glad you feel that way... you can remember the chemistry between both of them inthe series ne?

Blufox - I love you too! (winks) hehe well here ya go...so don't kill me just yet...

Jam - Another chapter for you!

Thanks guys...my first few reviews...really made my day...hope to see more!

* * *

Sardonic

Rating: PG-13

_Disclaimers: I don't own anything in this fic. Not Rukawa, not Sendoh (sob) but at least I own the fic._

* * *

Chapter 1: Encounters

Rukawa had seen Sendoh walking in from across the court. He didn't stop himself from staring. Sendoh looked handsome today.

Rukawa snorted. As if he wasn't always…

Sendoh scanned the court. Then he looked at Rukawa.

Rukawa wasn't afraid. Why should he be? He took Sendoh's stare head-on.

For a few seconds, they just looked at each other, and all the other people around them faded into nothing. Rukawa felt light-headed. He steadied himself as the world turned shaky.

When Rukawa regained himself he saw Sendoh was already gone. He was by his friend, Koshino, with the rest of the team.

Rukawa let his eyes linger on Sendoh. Although it was plain obvious, Rukawa wondered to himself, 'Was Sendoh really looking at me?'

* * *

Sendoh smiled. He was wearing the white Nikes. 

Somehow Sendoh had always preferred the white ones to the black ones.

"Akira!" It was Koshino. He was waving Sendoh over.

Sendoh took a last glance at Rukawa and then walked over to Koshino. He could feel Rukawa's gaze on him, burning into him. He wanted to look at Rukawa and say his name, but he held the feeling back. There were to be no signs of affection from him towards the boy.

Koshino patted Sendoh's back. "Come, let's go."

Sendoh looked up, dazed. "What?"

His friend laughed. "Day-dreaming again? The match is about to start."

Sendoh shook his head, trying to rid his mind of Rukawa. What the hell was he doing? He was about to have a match, and he was not focusing! Damn!

Rukawa was holding a basketball. Sendoh could see from the corner of his eye.

What was that about focus again?

Sendoh followed Koshino to their coach, who smiled at them encouragingly, patted Sendoh on the back. He told them that they were the strongest, that they were undefeatable. Then they walked out onto the court. Shohoku was beside them by the time Sendoh realized what was going on.

Sendoh felt numb. He couldn't play against Rukawa. Part of him wanted to truimph, but another wanted to give in to Rukawa, let him win.

Before, it had been different. He had never let his feelings come onto the court or into his playing. But now…Sendoh decided it was inevitable.

The whistle went. Sendoh snapped back to reality. Rukawa already had the ball.

He chased him. Oh, boy.

* * *

Rukawa shot, leaping high into the air. But Sendoh was in front of him, holding his hand up high, blocking him. Feeling Sendoh's sweaty body so close to his made Rukawa dizzy. He watched as the ball bounced off the side of the hoop. 

Sakuragi had the rebound. He passed it to Akagi, who did a dunk, way on the other side of the court. The court felt so huge all of a sudden. Like a desert horizon, which didn't have an end. Rukawa felt helpless, like an ant in a colony.

"Akira!" Koshino flung the ball all the way to Sendoh. He got the ball and he dashed over to their side of the court. Rukawa ran after him.

He jumped, aimed, and shot. Rukawa guarded the shot but it went into the hoop, making the crowd cheer. Rukawa scowled.

Sendoh just smiled, his ego taking over. "Don't be angry with me, Rukawa."

Rukawa didn't say anything. He just turned and walked away.

Sendoh grabbed Rukawa's shoulder, spinning Rukawa around. "Rukawa."

"I won't walk away." Rukawa just answered, before he walked to his team, as they called a time-out. Every step he took crushed Sendoh's heart. He didn't know why, but it did.

Sendoh wanted to smile but he couldn't.

* * *

Once he had his back towards Sendoh, Rukawa closed his eyes and breathed in slowly. He had to go through this match. He must win! Being head over heels in love with his rival, Sendoh Akira, was no reason to not be playing well! 

Rukawa stopped himself. What did he just say?

"Rukawa! You have to keep a close eye on Sendoh. He's been evading you." Coach's orders.

He nodded, understanding the seriousness of the situation. The whole team would be counting on him. He needed to make sure he didn't ruin their chances for the championship.

But as Rukawa walked back onto the court, he felt nauseous.

Shouts. Cheering. Balls, bouncing. Basketball shoes squeaking on the court. Rukawa wanted to grab something and hold on, to stop himself from falling. From falling, too fast. He was falling too fast.

Sendoh and many others, watched in horror, as Rukawa went crashing to the floor.


	3. Every Other Day

Here's another chappie! Thanks for being patient with me, everyone...hehe... I just wanna say some stuff to some people...

Aki - Thanks! Wow...glad to have you review my fic...hopefully you review this chapter as well...

Mifune - I'm so happy I made you like this fic! ) The pleasure was all mine. Hope you enjoy this chapter too!

Coffeemaverick - Well, not to give any spoilers, but there's going to be a lot of denying in this fic...haha...

blufox - Sorry! Just realised my mistake. I fixed it already...haha thanks anyway...

AngelicKill - Agreed! Don't we all just learn to love SenRu? Thanks...

Lady in Blue - Short review...but thanks anyway... ;)

Alright, don't wanna hold everyone up from reading the fic...hope you guys enjoy this chapter! This is for all those who enjoyed my fic, whether or not you reviewed...

* * *

Sardonic

Rating: PG-13

_Disclaimers: I don't own anything in this fic. Not Rukawa, not Sendoh (sob) but at least I own the fic._

* * *

Chapter 2: Every Other Day

When Rukawa opened his eyes, he was staring at the ceiling of a very familiar place. He sat up in the bed, slowly. Gazing around, he blinked. Beige walls, iodine smell, window facing the park. He knew this place!

He got up, walked to the window. He stared at some bluebirds, twittering as they flew past. He loved standing there whenever he came here. Suddenly, it hit him.

The game! The basketball game! Against Ryonan! What? How? His eyes landed on the clock hanging on the wall. It was 6pm.

"Oh no…"

He had not even noticed the nurse walking in. "Is something wrong, Rukawa?"

Rukawa looked at her, speechless for some reason.

She smiled at him. "Welcome back. How have you been?"

"The game…"

She cocked her head. "What game?"

"The basketball game! The game that happened three hours ago!" He cried, waving his hands around angrily.

"Calm down, Rukawa. Sit down."

He sat down obediently. He looked at her. "Keiko-san? What happened?"

She sighed. Then she bent down and looked him gently. "How is your breathing? Still having difficulties?" She asked instead.

"No, I'm not." He said impatiently. "What happened?"

She frowned. "Well, I don't know how it went, but your friends came to see you, not much earlier. They told me how the results were." She paused and frowned again.

Rukawa was on the edge of his chair. "…Keiko? Yes? Go on, please…"

She looked at Rukawa. "Shohoku lost. It was 50-75."

* * *

Sendoh Akira was sitting at his desk, worried. "Rukawa…"When the boy fainted, Sendoh had panicked. He had run to the boy's side and held him, yelling for paramedics. Feeling the boy's limp body against his chest had scared Sendoh half to death. 

Rukawa couldn't die.

No, he mustn't.

Once the paramedics had rushed to the scene, Sendoh had laid him down gently, though very reluctantly. He remembered all the players shouting, the crowds gasping and yelling. But Sendoh had stood there very silently, watching, as he prayed that Rukawa would be alright.

To his relief, they said it was nothing serious. Just a minor problem. Sendoh had heard some talk about Rukawa having some breathing difficulties but wasn't sure whether it was a rumour, or the truth.

They took him away, and the game continued.

The drama had left everyone in a bit of a shock, and Sendoh was still shaken. But everything went smoothly after that. The Shohoku players, struggling to cope without their ace, had made little resistance to Ryonan, and in a flash, it was over.

Ryonan had won. But Sendoh didn't feel any better. He wanted to see Rukawa.

He jumped up suddenly. Exactly! That was it! He would go and see him!

Since he wanted to see him, why didn't he just go?

Although Sendoh knew Rukawa would be upset that a rival had come to visit him, he didn't really care. As long as he could see Rukawa talking and breathing normally again, putting his pride aside would be worth it.

He grabbed his coat and headed for the door.

* * *

When Sendoh had bought some fruits (he couldn't decide between that and flowers, but finally he decided that lilies weren't Rukawa's thing), he headed for the hospital they said he would be in. He went to the counter, smiled at the young swooning nurses, and asked for Rukawa's ward. 

"Ward 501."

He smiled, earning dreamy smiles in return. "Thank you." Then he turned and got into the nearest elevator.

He pressed the button and the doors shut.

Pacing inside the elevator, he realised he had come unprepared.

"What am I to say to him? What should I do? What if he asks me to go away? What if he gets angry?"

The elevator doors opened almost all too soon. He walked to the room, stopped in front of the door.

This was it. He closed his eyes and took a deep breath. Then he knocked and stepped in.

To his surprise, it was a lady who stood there by the bed.

"Where's Rukawa?" He blurted. Then he cleared his throat and tried again. "I'm sorry. Do you know where Rukawa is?"

The nurse fixed the bed sheet and turned to him calmly. "Oh, he isn't here. He just left."

Sendoh came in and placed the fruits on the table. "Will he be coming back?"

"He always comes back." She replied. "Fruits?"

Sendoh nodded. "Could I leave this here for him?"

She shook her head. "He only comes when he needs to, and leaves much too early for his own good. He never stays. He wouldn't eat those, even if he was here."

"You can have them, then." Sendoh answered, instead.

She laughed. "Alright. Thank you. Who are you?"

"Sendoh Akira."

"Ryonan, aren't you? Rukawa talks about you sometimes."

Sendoh's eyes widened. "He does? What does he say?"

"He speaks of you as a friend would. I never thought I would meet you. Though sometimes he's so hateful when he talks about you, I think he doesn't really mean everything he says." She shut the window, as the wind was blowing some dust in.

Sendoh was startled. Then he laughed. "You do know him well."

The nurse looked at him. "I don't, really. No one actually does. Not even his mother."

There was an uncomfortable silence.

"I guess so. I have to go. Thanks a lot. Goodbye." Sendoh smiled and walked towards the door.

"Perhaps you should go back along the back road of the hospital." The nurse called.

"Why?"

She didn't reply. She just brushed past him at the door and left.

Even so, Sendoh heeded her advice. He disliked the back alley but since she had said so…

He stopped in his tracks.

"A basketball. A ball bouncing." He murmured to himself and headed towards the sound.

As he turned the corner, he saw someone playing at a basketball court across the street.

"Rukawa!" His breath caught in his chest. He was there, across the road! Without thinking, Sendoh crossed the road and stopped at the court.

Leaning against a wall, he watched Rukawa playing.

Rukawa…he looked so graceful, and so, raw with passion.

When Rukawa turned around, he stopped suddenly, seeing Sendoh .

Sendoh was at a loss of words. They stood there, staring at each other. A few minutes passed, Sendoh was sure. Then Rukawa threw the ball to Sendoh. Unprepared, Sendoh nearly couldn't catch it.

Rukawa tossed the hair on his eyes back and took a step towards Sendoh. "Play with me?"


End file.
